On Track!

7 11 2008

My last entry was I think, a result of how I am feeling right now, life is not a Meg Ryan film and I am not Meg Ryan. Life isn’t about fanatical gestures and heart rendering love stories. Reality is much colder than that.

I haven’t been updating much, nor commenting and I have to get myself back into it, I miss the people here and more than that I miss writing.

I am working – kind off – more and more people got laid off here and finding work seemed to be getting harder and harder so I found something I could do from home, it’s not something I ever thought about doing and judge as you will but its helping paying my rent, I’ve joined this legion of underground women who get paid to chat to men on the phone.

From it though, I have met an amazing group of women via the internet – doing a job that seems to be laughed at by many I have found friendship and support in their close knit group of cam girls, phone sex girls and more – their view is not of being exploited or even of being laughed at, more of sisters are doing it for themselves.

Apart from that, which has eased my money trouble worrying a little, my life has been pretty mundane. I seem to spend a lot of time inside and will continue to do so until I am back on my feet financially.

I am feeling positive again though, and more than positive I am back to being my brutal, tunnel thinking self when it comes to my life. I think I got lost for a little while there, having no money and really struggling made me depressed and I lost sense of the one thing I have always been able to do, look after myself. I guess I was seeking a light in the darkness when in reality all I needed to do was turn on my own light and see a way out of the dark.

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7 responses

7 11 2008
Robbie

Hey Lou lou,
Good to hear your in good times.
Glad to hear you got a job sorted out and from some of your postings I’m sure you’ll do great 😉
Just make sure you get a phone/headset that doesn’t break though 😀
It’ll be good to have you posting–and commenting–regularly again!

7 11 2008
Tylor

Glad to hear your working again (even if I’m not sure what exactly you’re doing). I was missing your posts and comments.

7 11 2008
rosie

WOW – that would be such a fun job!!

I read your other post, but felt slightly inept when attempting to write a response. So I thought it best to leave it. I’m glad you’re feeling a bit more positive now though!

8 11 2008
shortdigitalpictures

wow hun i’m so happy for you! I’d totally do that job if it ment just talking to idiots that will actually pay for you to fake things haha. well done! and it pays the bills so great 🙂

“I guess I was seeking a light in the darkness when in reality all I needed to do was turn on my own light and see a way out of the dark.”

That sentence is beautiful and very true. I’m happy you found a way out of the worst part and I hope you continue to use your own light to move up more and more in to brighter parts of your life.

i think I’m speaking for all when I say we ahve missed you too and your writing. Don’t forget that the words you scribble down give the rest of us hope too. Not everyone is strong enough to be as honest as you are in your blog.

x

9 11 2008
mossy

I am glad to see that you are doing ok.

10 11 2008
mossy

“Black-bird fly, into the light of a dark black night”

More often than not things are the opposite of what they seem.

10 11 2008
Skylinekt

Hi there. I enjoy your writing. You have a gift for expressing what you feel. I am so glad that there is light for you.
Sky

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